Relational Life Couples Therapy

How I Work with Couples:

I work with couples in three phases.

Phase One: Understanding the Pattern
We begin with careful data gathering. I learn about each partner’s history, beliefs, emotional responses, and relational style so I can understand each person’s typical “stance” in the relationship. From this, I identify what I call the dance—the repeating, unchanging, interactional pattern you go round and round in that keeps you stuck in conflict and unhappiness. The dance, not either partner, is the problem. This is what we work to change.

Phase Two: Family of Origin & Meaning-Making
Next, we explore each partner’s family of origin to understand how present-day behaviors often began as childhood adaptations. What once helped you survive or feel safe may now be interfering with closeness and connection.

When one partner’s family story is shared in front of the other, something powerful happens: empathy grows. Hurt and resentment often soften as new understanding emerges. Partners frequently report sudden clarity—“Oh, that’s why I react that way.” This phase deepens compassion and gives important insight into how emotions and conflict get triggered in everyday life.

Phase Three: Skills Building
In this phase, we learn concrete skills to interrupt unhelpful patterns and replace them with healthier ways of relating. These are not instinctive skills—they are learned and practiced.
Working on yourself and your relationship is a daily process, and the payoff is a more secure, connected, and emotionally healthy partnership and family life.

My Role as Your Therapist
I bring both compassion and directness to our sessions so meaningful shifts can begin. As we change the dance, resentment and reactivity soften, and new ways of seeing and responding to your partner become possible.

Call me for more information about what I do and how I can help you and your partner.